On Illusions and Sex Offenders...

I admit it. I've been following the Bill Cosby saga pretty closely.

I have been a fan of his and respected the things he's contributed over the years. I thought Cliff Huxtable was pretty much Cosby playing himself.

At the same time, I'm a therapist who works in corrections with sexual assault victims and offenders, so I'm pretty up to date on the dynamics and behaviors of sexual predators and sexual assault survivors.

As much as I've liked Cosby's work, I know that it's entirely plausible he’s offended against women. But not all people have my background on it, so I understand why people doubt the accusers.

I've read a lot of article comments and have my own responses to the common statements people make about this situation.  I debate with them in my head and sometimes in the dialogues, but I decided to put them together in one place... Just get the debate out in one fell swoop. So, here are the arguments for Cosby's innocence and my take on each one of them.

1. He's innocent until proven guilty.

Of course, in regards to criminal charges and convictions. This is why he is not in jail. And he would have this right should he be criminally charged going forward.

OJ Simpson is "innocent" in the eyes of the law, yet none of us believe for a minute that he did nothing wrong.

There are criminal courts but there are other courts. The court of public opinion. The court of capitalism and markets. For these, Cosby can't hide behind a defense attorney. For these, he must make his case directly to the people who would pay him to be a performer, and let the market decide what to do about him as a business.

2. The women took the pills, drank the alcohol, were alone with him.

First, he was a popular celebrity with a good reputation. There was no reason not to be alone with him. If Bill Cosby had invited anyone to hang out, most people would have been flattered and willing.  Most people would have accepted a drink from Bill Cosby.  Most people would have accepted a "headache pill" from Bill Cosby.

Second, rape and forced sexual contact are not natural consequences for taking drugs or drinking. He was in no way entitled to their bodies under any circumstances.

3. The women are just trying to get money or attention.

Wow.  There are WAY easier ways of getting money and attention than saying you were raped by a famous person. Saying you were raped opens you up to incredible scorn, cruelty, invasion of privacy, shame, etc. It ain't no picnic.

Say you had an affair.  Say you gave him pedicures.  Say you were his best friend.  Say anything but that you were raped.  This whole notion of women "crying rape" is way more myth than fact.  Especially in a case like this, there is no benefit to saying you were raped and LOTS of downsides.

4. Their stories are too weird to be true.

Rape is weird. Rape is rarely that stranger-out-of-the-bushes variety. Most sex offenders are very skilled at  getting what they want without getting caught. Those of us who work with sex offenders are not a bit surprised that a person would groom a victim, set them up with drugs/alcohol, get them to question reality afterwards, and even act nice or pay them off to try to smooth things over.

In fact, the weirder a predator makes the act, the easier it is to get away with it. Very convenient, because it makes it way harder for victims to explain or even understand later.  It lessens the victims' credibility.

5. Some of them continued to have contact with him.

Women, especially back then, were taught to be forgiving, to blame themselves, to give people second chances, to think they deserved rape for being in a dating situation, etc. In fact, they often didn’t even admit to themselves that they were raped.

And, sex offenders are skilled manipulators. It is entirely plausible that he could have tricked some into thinking it wasn't rape and that he actually cared about them. It is entirely possible he paid them off to keep them quiet and that they accepted it because they knew they'd never get any other reparations.

6.  Why are they accusing him now? It happened a long time ago.

As a therapist, I've worked with many sex abuse survivors who only begin to process and understand what happened to them years and even decades later. Women of that era were told to not talk about it, to forget it, to blame themselves, etc. It didn't go any better for them to talk about it then, than it’s going now, and it went way worse.

Plus, there is a natural safety in numbers. One or two women coming forward helps the more fearful feel like they can.

Finally, so what? They have a right to tell their stories when they are ready to. Their stories are just as valid now, their experiences impacting them even now, and society is more receptive and concerned with violence against women.

7. People always prey on celebrities and accuse them of rape.

Really? Where are the rape accusations for Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington, Brad Pitt, Kevin Costner, Morgan Freeman, insert most other popular male celebs?

Exactly. False rape accusations are very rare. The consequences for the accuser are many, the benefits are nearly none.

8. He is a nice guy. A paragon of virtue.

Most sex offenders are "nice guys" most of the time.

But, Cosby’s own words suggest an affinity for the type of rape he is accused of. His comedy bit about "Spanish Fly" reveals an interesting preoccupation with the idea of drugging women to get sex. First, his comedy was usually so "clean," so this is a bit of an outlier. Second, while young boys might be excited by something like that, Cosby describes still wanting to obtain and use a drug on women even as he was an adult. Check it out for yourself:

http://youtu.be/LAorIG6MZnc

It makes me wonder if he did have a fetish for drugging and taking advantage of women. It describes predatory behavior. It is entirely plausible that he acted out his urges on real women, selecting them and grooming them carefully in order to get away with it. And that he felt entitled to do so.

8. The women he worked with on the Cosby show (and other higher profile women) haven't reported anything.

Not all sexual predators prey on all the women they encounter. Gary Ridgeway, the "Green River Killer," had a wife and a job. He saved his predatory behavior for prostitutes because he saw them as less human, easy to discredit, and not as likely to be missed. Jerry Sandusky had a wife and a successful career, but also managed to prey upon young boys who couldn't stand up to him or his popularity.

Cosby's profile seemed to be younger women, wanna be's (not well-known ones), and naive ones who would easily accept invitations to take pills, drink, and be alone with him. These were young women with very little credibility and power, at a time when "date rape" wasn't even a crime.

Sex offenders are masters at having dual personalities and personas. It wouldn't surprise those of us who work with victims and offenders that a man could behave like a paragon around his family and friends, but also have a deviant side where he preys upon victims who don't have the power or credibility to fight him.

9. Date rape wasn't even a crime. Cosby would have seen this as perfectly legal and acceptable. He wouldn't even have known he was doing anything wrong.

Can something be wrong and harmful without it being a crime? Why didn't all men back then drug and rape women?

If we accept the "he didn't know better" explanation, then we have to ask, "But does he know better now?"

"A Different World," the TV spin off of the "Cosby Show," devoted an episode to date rape. Cosby, as producer, was certainly aware of and involved in it.

If he drugged and raped women, thought it was OK at the time, but changed his mind as times changed, it follows that he'd apologize profusely and explain himself.  If he did harm these women, and his response now is silence and discrediting the women, it says tons about his character, and nothing good.

10. We just don't and can't know.

Very true. On this we agree. But it doesn't mean we can't consider it. It doesn't mean we can't discuss it. It doesn't mean the women have to be silent.

We get to decide who we believe and act accordingly.

On my part, this is an Ockham's Razor situation.  The simplest explanation tends to be the right one.

The consistency of the stories, along with the details that differentiate them, Cosby's Spanish Fly bit, the numbers of victims, Cosby's odd refusal to say his side, along with what I know to be true in general about sex offenders and victims... Seems more plausible to me than a bunch of random women tearing down a guy who never wronged them in any way.

In this case, it actually makes more sense to me that the women are telling the truth, than that Cosby is just a totally innocent man.

But each of us has to decide for ourselves who we believe.

On Solidarity in Exhibitionism...

Ah Facebook...

So, the other day I flipped open my iPhone to check my Facebook and noticed a large number of people posting colors for their status...statusez... statusii...statuses... whatever. AT first I thought these colors represented some covert personality profile or current mood. Clearly something cohesive had occurred and I'd missed the memo. Still the colors lacked pizazz... white, beige, black...women wishing they could say leopard but admitted instead to tan. I wondered if the colors reflected a widespread plague of SAD. (Seasonal Affective Disorder)

I inquired and found out that there is some movement... a "girl to girl" campaign that invites other women to post their bra colors in Facebook in order to, ah, show solidarity for breast cancer awareness.

Yeah, OK. Ladies. Please.

First, do you care what color your friend's bra is? (OK, some of you do... you are excused) Yeah, neither do I. Who does care? Um... yeah. And would it be much of a stretch for a guy to think, and probably suggest to his buddies over some beer, a video of "Girls Gone Wild," and a pizza...

"Hey, I got a great idea... You know how women are always posting stuff about causes and shit? Like there's always some dying child who wants cards from everyone as his last wish before he dies... and women email each other and get each other to send cards even though the kid has been dead for like a decade... or didn't ever exist? Or they post stuff about angels and kittycats or about how every moment is precious and to enjoy their mothers while they can and call a best friend today before it's too late?

Well, OK, women are gullible. So what if I email some anonymously and tell them to post their bra colors on Facebook in order to support breast cancer awareness? Wouldn't they totally fall for that?? And then us guys can totally be in on it and see these silly women posting about their bras?"

Second... Ladies... are any of you unaware of breast cancer? Did any of you wake up this morning, read an array of colors and think, "Hey... these colors have informed me about the seriousness of breast cancer... thank goodness because I had no idea about breast cancer and if I did I certainly didn't think other women cared about this enough to covertly post their bra colors on Facebook. I am so much more aware now."

Third, puleeeze. Women in the US are totally sexually repressed. I don't know about you, but the first women I saw posting their colors were the ones who'd never post that if someone just asked them to. The ones who post most days about the goodness of the Lord and various Psalms or about how well they cleaned their houses today or about how cute their child is... or about how the country is going to hell under that liberal Nazi. You know who you are. You are wonderful, all of you, but I'm just sayin'. But, oh man, give them a cause like breast cancer and these little church ladies don't question a thing... they're just instantly delighted to tell you the color of their bra and even whether they're wearing one or not. It takes the barest hint of an excuse and these little angels are all over sharing information about their boobies without any critical thought. Good for them!

I know, I know... I'm such a critic. How dare I point this out? Don't I care about breast cancer and solidarity and kittens and lollipops for dying card collectors and secret bra campaigns?? Don't I understand the importance of female bonding over viral manipulations??? Am I really this cold hearted???? Do I use too many question marks?????

Yeah.

Hey though... my husband got an email for men to show solidarity for prostate cancer by posting the length of their...

On Crackers and Six Packs...

Real America... Pro-America America... Real Virginia... Hockey Moms, Walmart Moms, Joe Six-Packs...

I think it's important to understand what is really meant by these things...what our Republican candidates are talking about.

The McCain campaign would have us believe they mean "real people" who aren't rich and famous and who are humble, hard-workers who care about their families, God, and Country (not necessarily in that order). The mainstream media--not Fox, of course--critically takes them to task for this stuff but the media suggests these terms mean "Republicans" or "just people who agree with McCain and Palin."

What isn't being said much is what we're really talking about...what they really mean when they use those catchphrases.

Let me backtrack. I'm a "country girl" without a pasture. Raised in suburbia on John Denver music and my grandparent's FM country radio, I managed to absorb a fair amount of affinity for rural life and rural pleasures. Camping, fishing, boating, off-road vehicles...cold beer and pot luck. Love it.

AT the same time, I went to college. I took women's studies and multicultural classes. I became properly guilty for the sins of my Caucasian ancestors and my snooty city friends made sure to taunt my country nature into hiding. For a time, I wore chunky black shoes, squarish black eyeglasses, and clipped my short hair with funky black accessories. I went around with a pinched expression and lamented about oppression.

But then we moved to Montana. Oh how free I felt there! Free to be me! Free to let my inner "redneck woman" out of her corral. Yee haw! I bought a cow hat and ate steak. I felt something unusual... but I couldn't name it.

Across the country, "redneck" became cool. Songs, comedy routines, movies, TV... began to celebrate what had previously been a derogatory term. I started thinking about it... 'cause I felt it too... felt the urge to be more "redneck"... to own my own redneckedness.

And then I understood why... Pride and cultural identity. You see, my whole Gen-X life I've been told and I believed that it's bad and evil to be proud of my ethnicity. White pride??? Gasp!!! I mean, that's racist!!! Break out the hoods and shave your evil head. While all around me it was OK and even celebrated to "honor diversity." My schools and workplaces had celebrations for African-Americans, Latinos, various Asian cultures... celebrate diversity! The argument was that our primary culture...our primary celebrations were all about White people to begin with so we had to add celebrations for other ethnicities and downplay or eliminate any celebration of our own White culture.

Only, the thing is, that approach isn't really working very well because you have a whole lot of people who have had to act for a long time (for some of us our whole lives) like they were guilty, ashamed or embarrassed about who they really are. White culture had been oppressed. To put it bluntly, I believe the "redneck" craze is simply a safe and marginally politically correct (or at least lighter-hearted) way for Whites to be proud of White culture (which, I admit totally tweaks my guilt and shame button just writing that sentence).

We can hear a person say they are "proud to be a redneck" because we picture Larry the Cable Guy or Jeff Foxworthy... or Gretchen Wilson who "cleans up real nice." It's a silly and benign way to say we're proud of our--frankly--White culture without also suggesting that other cultures are bad. Of course we have to be sort of goofy and self-effacing about it.

Oprah Winfrey can say directly and with passion, "I'm proud to be a Black woman," and I never think she's saying, "I'm better than you because I'm Black." But if I heard Gretchen Wilson say, "I'm proud to be a White woman," I'd have a completely different impression of her words and intent. Now, Gretchen can say "redneck woman," and I'm all, "Hell yeah!" Why? Because I know what she means by it and what she doesn't mean. I'm both fond (shit, I can't even bring myself to say "proud") of my White girl (if you add "girl" it doesn't sound so bad, does it...?) culture and also appreciative and welcoming to other cultures. AT THE SAME TIME WITHOUT VALUING ONE OVER THE OTHER.

Now, are there Whites who are proud of their own culture AND racist fucktards? Oh yeah... we've seen them aplenty recently.

Which brings me back to what we are really talking about. The McCain/Palin campaign is bursting with cute phrases like "Joe Sixpack," "Hockey Mom," "Small-town America," "Real America," etc. Like "redneck" I swear this is code for White. The next time you hear Palin say this stuff, in your head... or even out loud... insert "White." I think that's what she really means and that's who she's really talking to...OK, specifically "White Heterosexist Christians."

And by talking this way, she's freed the racist fucktards to feel their oats...to crawl out of their bunkers and embrace the new lingo... embrace a candidate (mostly Palin, I gotta say) who frees them to be proud of something they've been pissed off by having to hide for so long. I also frees them to show their stupid fears about the "other;" in this case a brilliant mixed race presidential candidate and all those freaks who support him. Ooooo...sccccaaarrryyyy...

My husband overheard a right wing radio show yesterday discussing how electing Obama will change America (for the worse). They lamented that our "American Culture" will be lost... and that Obama threatens our American identity. The thing those boneheads don't understand... is that our American culture has already changed! If they'd take their fearful heads out of their fearful butts and get to know America--all of America--they'd see that we are truly a multicultural community.

Obama is not responsible for changing our country to a more diverse culture--our evolution to a more diverse culture is responsible for making it possible for Obama to be our leader. Our country has already changed. What the fearful conservatives need to understand is that they can have their culture, religion and tradition without clinging to it in fear or living with the delusion that they represent "True Americans." We can embrace the change and still be whoever we want to be... Americans united and diverse Americans. We can "celebrate diversity" with the inclusion of us "rednecks."

Talk about elitism! How dare Palin and her fellow conservative wacks presume to say who is and who is not a "True American." This is absolutely appalling! As I recall, Hitler had some ideals about who was and who was not a true German (or worthy human being, for that matter). Palin-heads hope to woo people who may think, "Oh, I want to be a True American too! Apparently, if I want to be that, I need to vote for McCain/Palin..." You know, they might grab a few people that way...

However, guess what? All that does is unite the rest of us in patriotism and invite the rest of us to take a stand. The rest of us know and love America as a land of diversity and we embrace the changes and new identities. We're uniting in something pretty magical, hopeful and compelling... something that isn't about hate or fear, but about redefining for the better what it means to be American. We're uniting under a mission of inclusion... and we have to make room for White cultures too in our diversity celebrations.

But right now, we're in the midst of a cultural war. Started somewhat by the presence of a "man of color" on the ticket but really ignited by Palin and McCain's campaign of fear and propaganda. It sickens me.

When Obama supporters talk about Hope and Change. We are talking about inclusion, kindness, altruism... We are talking about not hating each other for being different than we are but rather appreciating both our sameness and our differentness. We're talking about uniting... One Nation... Indivisible... With Liberty and Justice for All.

That's the reason we began to love Obama in the first place. He was the first candidate to recognize the pain of our separation and to suggest we don't have to hate each other. What a concept. What a mission.

Yet, having said that, I admit I nearly deleted this post prior to publishing it. I'm frankly so intimidated by broaching this subject that I nearly did not. But I feel it needs to be said.

On Race and Resumes...

I'm frankly appalled (though not terribly surprised) at what human sludge McCain (and especially Palin) have dredged up to support them.

But, sludge aside, ask yourself if Obama would ever be our potential president if he had McCain's resume... Would he have even been a senator if he'd had McCain's resume, education and personal history?

Think about it...

The following was posted on "Don't Get Me Started." It's an excellent illumination of how race, unfortunately, matters in our culture. Certainly the recent hate fests... um McCain/Palin rallies have been rife with it. These two yahoos are playing to the lowest common denominators of our US society and doing little to stop it. McCain's recent "attempts to quell" the racism and hate? Oh please... Where is his backbone? Those aren't strong statements he's making; they are just drops in a big old bucket of fear mongering.

How Racism Works (or Doesn't Work)

Received this from CT Gen and it makes some very simple, but very telling points...

~~~~~~~~~~

This is How Racism Works

What if John McCain were a former editor of the Harvard Law Review?

What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?

What if McCain were still married to the first woman he said 'I do' to?

What if Obama were the candidate who left his first wife after she no longer measured up to his standards?

What if Michelle Obama were a wife who not only became addicted to pain killers, but acquired them illegally through her charitable organization?

What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard?

What if Obama were a member of the Keating-5?

What if McCain were a charismatic, eloquent speaker?

If these questions reflected reality, do you really believe the election numbers would be as close as they are?

This is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in another when there is a color difference.

You are The Boss... which team would you hire?

With America facing historic debt, 2 wars, stumbling health care, a weakened dollar, all-time high prison population, mortgage crises, bank foreclosures, etc.

Educational Background:

Obama: Columbia University - B.A. Political Science with a Specialization in International Relations; Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude

Biden: University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. In Political Science; Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)

McCain: United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899

Palin: Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester; North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study; University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism; Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester; University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism

Now, which team are you going to hire ?

PS: What if Barack Obama had an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter...

~~~~~~~~~~

Makes you think, huh?

On Little Men and Compensating for Something...

Here's an interesting biography article from Rolling Stone about John McCain; worth reading no matter which way you'd like to vote.

http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/23316912/makebelieve_maverick/print

On Healing and Hope...

I couldn't begin to express my feelings as well as this guy does:

Obama Will Be One of the Greatest (and Most Loved) American Presidents

By Frank Schaeffer

Posted October 8, 2008 | 02:45 PM (EST)

Great presidents are made great by horrible circumstances combined with character, temperament and intelligence. Like firemen, cops, doctors or soldiers, presidents need a crisis to shine.

Obama is one of the most intelligent presidential aspirants to ever step forward in American history. The likes of his intellectual capabilities have not been surpassed in public life since the Founding Fathers put pen to paper. His personal character is also solid gold. Take heart, America: we have the leader for our times.

I say this as a white, former life-long Republican. I say this as the proud father of a Marine. I say this as just another American watching his pension evaporate along with the stock market! I speak as someone who knows it's time to forget party loyalty, ideology and pride and put the country first. I say this as someone happy to be called a fool for going out on a limb and declaring that, 1) Obama will win, and 2) he is going to be amongst the greatest of American presidents.

Obama is our last best chance. He's worth laying it all on the line for.

This is a man who in the age of greed took the high road of community service. This is the good father and husband. This is the humble servant. This is the patient teacher. This is the scholar statesman. This is the man of deep Christian faith.

Good stories about Obama abound; from his personal relationship with his Secret Service agents (he invites them into his home to watch sports, and shoots hoops with them) to the story about how, more than twenty years ago, while standing in the check-in line at an airport, Obama paid a $100 baggage surcharge for a stranger who was broke and stuck. (Obama was virtually penniless himself in those days.) Years later after he became a senator, that stranger recognized Obama's picture and wrote to him to thank him. She received a kindly note back from the senator. (The story only surfaced because the person, who lives in Norway, told a local newspaper after Obama ran for the presidency. The paper published a photograph of this lady proudly displaying Senator Obama's letter.)

Where many leaders are two-faced; publicly kindly but privately feared and/or hated by people closest to them, Obama is consistent in the way he treats people, consistently kind and personally humble. He lives by the code that those who lead must serve. He believes that. He lives it. He lived it long before he was in the public eye.

Obama puts service ahead of ideology. He also knows that to win politically you need to be tough. He can be. He has been. This is a man who does what works, rather than scoring ideological points. In other words he is the quintessential non-ideological pragmatic American. He will (thank God!) disappoint ideologues and purists of the left and the right.

Obama has a reservoir of personal physical courage that is unmatched in presidential history. Why unmatched? Because as the first black contender for the presidency who will win, Obama, and all the rest of us, know that he is in great physical danger from the seemingly unlimited reserve of unhinged racial hatred, and just plain unhinged ignorant hatred, that swirls in the bowels of our wounded and sinful country. By stepping forward to lead, Obama has literally put his life on the line for all of us in a way no white candidate ever has had to do. (And we all know how dangerous the presidency has been even for white presidents.)

Nice stories or even unparalleled courage isn't the only point. The greater point about Obama is that the midst of our worldwide financial meltdown, an expanding (and losing) war in Afghanistan, trying to extricate our country from a wrong and stupidly mistaken ruinously expensive war in Iraq, our mounting and crushing national debt, awaiting the next (and inevitable) al Qaeda attack on our homeland, watching our schools decline to Third World levels of incompetence, facing a general loss of confidence in the government that has been exacerbated by the Republicans doing all they can to undermine our government's capabilities and programs... President Obama will take on the leadership of our country at a make or break time of historic proportions. He faces not one but dozens of crisis, each big enough to define any presidency in better times.

As luck, fate or divine grace would have it (depending on one's personal theology) Obama is blessedly, dare I say uniquely, well-suited to our dire circumstances. Obama is a person with hands-on community service experience, deep connections to top economic advisers from the renowned University of Chicago where he taught law, and a middle-class background that gives him an abiding knowledgeable empathy with the rest of us. As the son of a single mother, who has worked his way up with merit and brains, recipient of top-notch academic scholarships, the peer-selected editor of the Harvard Law Review and, in three giant political steps to state office, national office and now the presidency, Obama clearly has the wit and drive to lead.

Obama is the sober voice of reason at a time of unreason. He is the fellow keeping his head while all around him are panicking. He is the healing presence at a time of national division and strife. He is also new enough to the political process so that he doesn't suffer from the terminally jaded cynicism, the seen-it-all-before syndrome afflicting most politicians in Washington. In that regard we Americans lucked out. It's as if having despaired of our political process we picked a name from the phone book to lead us and that person turned out to be a very man we needed.

Obama brings a healing and uplifting spiritual quality to our politics at the very time when our worst enemy is fear. For eight years we've been ruled by a stunted fear-filled mediocrity of a little liar who has expanded his power on the basis of creating fear in others. Fearless Obama is the cure. He speaks a litany of hope rather than a litany of terror.

As we have watched Obama respond in a quiet reasoned manner to crisis after crisis, in both the way he has responded after being attacked and lied about in the 2008 campaign season, to his reasoned response to our multiplying national crises, what we see is the spirit of a trusted family doctor with a great bedside manner. Obama is perfectly suited to hold our hand and lead us through some very tough times. The word panic is not in the Obama dictionary.

America is fighting its "Armageddon" in one fearful heart at a time. A brilliant leader with the mild manner of an old-time matter-of-fact country doctor soothing a frightened child is just what we need. The fact that our "doctor" is a black man leading a hitherto white-ruled nation out of the mess of its own making is all the sweeter and raises the Obama story to that of moral allegory.

Obama brings a moral clarity to his leadership reserved for those who have had to work for everything they've gotten and had to do twice as well as the person standing next to them because of the color of their skin. His experience of succeeding in spite of his color, social background and prejudice could have been embittering or one that fostered a spiritual rebirth of forgiveness and enlightenment. Obama radiates the calm inner peace of the spirit of forgiveness.

Speaking as a believing Christian I see the hand of a merciful God in Obama's candidacy. The biblical metaphors abound. The stone the builder rejected is become the cornerstone... the last shall be first... he that would gain his life must first lose it... the meek shall inherit the earth...

For my secular friends I'll allow that we may have just been extraordinarily lucky! Either way America wins.

Only a brilliant man, with the spirit of a preacher and the humble heart of a kindly family doctor can lead us now. We are afraid, out of ideas, and worst of all out of hope. Obama is the cure. And we Americans have it in us to rise to the occasion. We will. We're about to enter one of the most frightening periods of American history. Our country has rarely faced more uncertainty. This is the time for greatness. We have a great leader. We must be a great people backing him, fighting for him, sacrificing for a cause greater than ourselves.

A hundred years from now Obama's portrait will be placed next to that of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt. Long before that we'll be telling our children and grandchildren that we stepped out in faith and voted for a young black man who stood up and led our country back from the brink of an abyss. We'll tell them about the power of love, faith and hope. We'll tell them about the power of creativity combined with humility and intellectual brilliance. We'll tell them that President Obama gave us the gift of regaining our faith in our country. We'll tell them that we all stood up and pitched in and won the day. We'll tell them that President Obama restored our standing in the world. We'll tell them that by the time he left office our schools were on the mend, our economy booming, that we'd become a nation filled with green energy alternatives and were leading the world away from dependence on carbon-based destruction. We'll tell them that because of President Obama's example and leadership the integrity of the family was restored, divorce rates went down, more fathers took responsibility for their children, and abortion rates fell dramatically as women, families and children were cared for through compassionate social programs that worked. We'll tell them about how the gap closed between the middle class and the super rich, how we won health care for all, how crime rates fell, how bad wars were brought to an honorable conclusion. We'll tell them that when we were attacked again by al Qaeda, how reason prevailed and the response was smart, tough, measured and effective, and our civil rights were protected even in times of crisis...

We'll tell them that we were part of the inexplicably blessed miracle that happened to our country those many years ago in 2008 when a young black man was sent by God, fate or luck to save our country. We'll tell them that it's good to live in America where anything is possible. Yes we will.

Frank Schaeffer is the author of CRAZY FOR GOD-How I Grew Up As One Of The Elect, Helped Found The Religious Right, And Lived To Take All (Or Almost All) Of It Back. Now in paperback.

On Choices and Inspiration...

My favorite blog to read is Linda Sharp’s “Don’t Get Me Started.” In addition to some hilarious entertainment commentary, she recently added a political section and she does a fantastic job of linking to an array of timely videos (like SNL’s Tina Fey’s Palin skits) and other sources.

Here’s the link to her political blog:

http://dontgetmestarted-lindasharp.typepad.com/dont_get_me_started_on_po/

Recently, her commentators clashed over what Obama supporters like about him and it led to me examining my own preference for him as my president.

Why I Like Obama

I can’t say that I agree with him on everything. He’s probably more left-leaning than I tend to be…I’m moderate, after all. So why is it that for the first time in my life I’m actually excited about a presidential candidate?

My first reason is that he’s the first candidate who actually tells me what I want to hear. As I listen to political speeches and interviews, I have a sense of where I think a candidate should go… of what they could say to impact me (and others in my Gen-X and after generations). In most cases, Obama tags these expectations perfectly.

It’s as if John Mayer’s “Waiting on the World to Change” song now has an answer.

It's not that we don't care,We just know that the fight ain't fair…

When I see Obama, I feel like…OK, now we have a horse in the race. Why? Because he seems to get just how disgusted we all are with the Red-Blue un-Civil War. Our country is weak exactly because of the liberal-conservative clash. Our internal pissing match is our biggest security risk and it has led to a serious morale problem. Obama was the first candidate to truly speak to it and to speak to it in a way that let us know he gets it.

Hillary didn’t do it because she’s still pretty entrenched in Dems vs Repubs. McCain and Palin try… by throwing out soundbites about “partisan politics” (it seems to work for Obama, so lather rinse and repeat) but it doesn’t ring true. Obama gets it and I believe him when he says he’ll work on that problem.

My second reason is that Obama motivates people. He has an intrinsic charisma and an aura of wisdom that soothes and encourages others. JFK and Bobby had it… MLK had it and Obama has it. A good leader doesn’t do everything himself… He delegates and motivates those around him to pitch in and contribute. A president who inspires others (“Ask not what your country can do for you…but what you can do for your country…”) to work together as one will accomplish so much more, will strengthen our nation as a whole, and will bring about a sense of unity and pride that we’ve needed for decades now. Obama has the potential to be a truly great and beloved leader. Everyone jokes about his “Hope” platform, but really, wouldn’t you rather be hopeful than cynical? Wouldn’t you rather collaborate with hopeful people than cynical people? Neighborly rather than dog-eat-dog?

My third reason is that Obama is a spectacular figurehead. As the first bi-racial president, his presence will send a message that race is no longer an absolute barrier. He will be in a position to freely investigate and candidly talk about race relations and to help all people move forward and heal. He is youthful but wise and so he’s able to excite and engage a wider range of citizens…much like JFK did.

His presence will send a message to the world that the US is, perhaps, a different place than everyone had thought. The world is watching our election precisely because of Obama and if you think about it, the US will be a different country under Obama than it is under Bush or would be under McCain. Obama’s leadership presence at the helm will affect all sorts of systemic and perceptual changes that I believe will help our country evolve out of the quagmire we’ve been in for so long now. I believe our allies would be more committed and our enemies, perhaps, a little disarmed by him.

Conservatives argue that it doesn’t matter what the World thinks of the US…we’ll do whatever we darned well please. But, Hello…knock knock knock… we need allies. We are a stronger and more secure nation with allies. We need a president who can play well with others…who can be diplomatic and strategic.

Did it ever occur to anyone that Obama’s comments about speaking with our enemies could be strategic? Could be more about what they hear and perceive—what ambivalent nations hear and perceive—than what he actually does? I think Obama is a crafty strategist who understands that what he says and how he says it has a powerful systemic impact…even now, as he’s just a presidential candidate. He’s not just speaking for just the US to hear…he’s also speaking to the World.

So that’s why I voted for him in the primary and continue to support him now. I get what you’re trying to do, Barack, and I support you.

One could argue that Palin is also youthful, charismatic and a different figurehead. I admit that her presence is doing some interesting things for gender relations and women in general along with forcing traditional conservative misogynists/sexists to drink and distribute some seriously feminist Kool-Aid.

At the same time, she isn’t inspirational or soothing. There is nothing about her that gives me hope for our nation’s healing. She doesn’t seem terribly wise and she exudes a rather clueless narcissism. She has not in any way demonstrated any ability to self-reflect or be real with us. Her image is cut-and-paste rhetoric…she’s a fashion doll with a soundtrack… A pretty Star Trek android who blows circuits when the questions don’t match her pre-prepared and coached answers. She has not an ounce of global thinking and has demonstrated no capacity at all for understanding diverse perspectives. She’s a great character, but a great president? Nope. No way.

Then there’s McCain. I feel like I’ve covered this, but briefly he’s just too obnoxious. I personally don’t want a “maverick” as my president. I don’t want a guy who just seems to like being contrary just so he can call himself a maverick. He also hasn’t demonstrated how he’s any different in thought or practice than the current administration. How does he differ from Bush? We don’t know because he just keeps saying that he’s a maverick. He says he’ll “reform Washington” but never follows that up with a picture of what that reform would look like. He’s just too off-putting, impulsive, and weird and I don’t believe he’ll improve our nation in any way. In fact, I believe his impulsive nature is a security risk and I don’t see any wisdom in him at all. I don’t trust him to carefully navigate our country and keep us safe.

Oh, I’ll be glad when this is all over… or terrified. Time will tell.