It's a war zone in our suburban neighborhood tonight. Those are not Oregon fireworks I hear out there and I'm jealous... It's nights like tonight when I miss Montana and mongo fireworks aplenty.

In about a half hour, we'll convene in our street to light our little stash of fireworks. I already finished off the smoke bombs and I'm sure the neighbors appreciate the gobs of green and orange smoke I sent into their garage. Oh well, our neighbor is an albino cat lady who won't talk to us anymore because of a strange cat event 2 years ago... No time to get into that now. Her husband plays surf guitar and I could not identify him in a line-up. Like the mysterious neighbor on "Home Improvement," I've never actually looked upon his face straight-on.

We have a funny little street. Our homes are mid-century ranch style... very dull but functional. I would love to make ours seriously atomic, but lack the funds to really go for it. Our neighbors are generally nice and keep to themselves... typical for our Northwest culture.

Still, on nights like tonight, we all end up out there together. We wouldn't want to miss all the grand Oregon fireworks and the chance to live vicariously through other neighbors' fireworks. Though, I confess, Oregon fireworks are rather....ah... yawn.

Pretty much all Oregon fireworks have one of two characteristics. Either, A. they emit puffs of smoke or B. they emit showers of sparks. In fact, just about every firework package says, "Caution, emits showers of sparks." If we're really lucky, they make noise. Yep. That's it. Yee haw. Oregonians can't be trusted with anything more exciting. We also can't be trusted to pump our own gas or sell/buy liquor in grocery stores. Thank goodness we're kept in check like that or we just might have a crisis on our hands.

In Montana, we had freaking mortars. Somebody down the street has those too...I covet them.

So Happy 4th everyone! Our thoughts are with the soldiers who are spending this holiday away from their families. Hopefully, they can come home soon.

Of course our thoughts are also on our vacation... leaving for Lake Shasta in the morning. We have a week of serious practice and training for our favorite water sports: floating with a beverage and flopping off the back of our boat like sealions. I think we're ready.

Have fun and don't burn anyone's house down.