On Fashion and Spanish Pluck...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060928/od_nm/witness_fashion1_dc_1

I don’t understand fashion. I mean, I have a grasp on how to assemble items of clothing to pass as presentable, but I’m sooo not sophisticated enough to appreciate the intricacies and drama of the runway. I’m only just beginning to comprehend that the “fashion industry” does not refer to a Wal-Mart sweatshop in Malaysia.

Quite honestly, I haven’t paid any attention until recently when Spain—in a crazy fit of concern for health and welfare, those bastards—decided to bar the underweight from the Madrid Fashion Week. From what little I understand of the situation, Spain had the thought that, perhaps, the push for freakishly thin models somehow damaged the models themselves and perhaps encouraged other young women to emulate famine. Go figure. So they decided to—not unlike sporting events baring athletes who use performance enhancers—ban ultra thin participants.

This has caused much uproar and bitterness—of course, because any change must always cause uproar and bitterness no matter what “industry” or demographic. The government of Canada could ban mustard gas and somebody, somewhere would be roaring and bitter. It’s just the way things are.

But the fashion leaders are especially upset because they believe strongly that their amazingly intricate and artful designs only look good on certain body frames; namely skeletons. Malnourished creatures are their canvas and they are not eager to expend extra fine fabrics on women who resemble, well, women.

I fail to grasp several things. 1) A woman with a Body Mass Index of 18 is pretty darned skinny. How can this standard possibly be a problem? 2) Who—besides the designers, the participant models, and pedophiles—possibly finds these walking-hangers attractive? How on earth did this trend become a standard of beauty? 3) How stupid do these fashion people think we are? Or are they merely delusional? It doesn’t take an analyst in a think-tank to figure out that eating disorders are a gargantuan part of the fashion industry. I, mean, like duh. 4) How come all the anorexia accused women say, “I eat a hamburger any time I want to,” as if that just wraps it up. OK, freakishly thin individual, you must not have any issues with eating because you clearly have a well-established relationship with hamburgers. Sorry to trouble you.

So, OK, should governments involve themselves with “industries” that thrive on abnormal thinness and influence young women to emulate this? Aren’t these folks consenting adults? Oh, wait, many of them are teen-agers as young as 14…13… Hmmm…

Ah well, as long as they eat hamburgers whenever they want to…