On Vegas and Recovery...

So we’re back from Vegas and I feel as if somebody hit me with a giant bat. I saw a t-shirt in the airport gift shop that said, “Las Vegas: What was I thinking?” I thought, “Amen.”

I mean, it’s a fun place to an extent and like some sort of forgiving foster parent, Vegas accepts all sorts of children….Everyone fits in Vegas.

When I look back on our experience, or when somebody asks me what we did there, I realize that our primary activity—for 3 days—involved walking around looking at hotels. I mean, the hotels are impressive, yes and all have their own personalities. This is interesting and free entertainment, but man, I’m sure time could have been used more wisely…even if only to sit by the pool with a giant fruit beverage.

Occasionally we’d walk to a hotel for a purpose. We deliberately watched the fountains at the Bellagio several times and stood amazed as they popped off water with the force of fireworks. We went to New York, New York to visit a sing-along piano bar—probably the highlight of the trip. We went to Ballys to see Jubilee, an old-school Vegas show involving matter-of-fact topless women, rhinestones and guys on ribbons. We went to the Venetian to eat some Italian food and ride the Gondolas (which go like 2 miles an hour but you have to wear seatbelts)…I tried grappa.

Otherwise, we generally divided our time between looking at hotels and deciding what to eat. We did a little gambling and I lost a whopping $7. We never did play at any of the tables, where the minimum bets exceeded our risk comfort zone, but did goof off with the penny and nickel slots.

The weird thing about the place is the lack of seating. I sort had the image of parking ourselves in some hotel lobbies for people watching, but realized quickly that you pretty much have to be a paying customer in a bar or restaurant to find a seat. Vegas does not want you to stay in one place for long.

I do not recommend Quark’s Bar at the Hilton… though the Romulan Ale is worth having for obvious reasons…the food is overpriced cafeteria fare. However, I do recommend Ellis Island for both Karaoke and cheap but decent 24-hr food—and breakfast anytime.

We made it to the Dam and took the Dam tour—which has been, unfortunately, shortened after 9/11 for security reasons. And, I told my mom we went and she informed me that a couple years after the Hoover-Fuck incident, she and Dad went back and toured the thing. She regaled me with the parts of the tour no longer available. Great. She got to go on the full tour and I get “Look, generators… Look tunnel… OK, end of tour.” Figures.

The best part of the trip happened in the desert at the Valley of Fire State Park. Essentially a poor-man’s Zion/Bryce Canyon but beautiful. We arrived before sunset and wandered among the red rock formations until we could hardly see them.

I’m glad to know what Vegas is all about… but I’m also glad to be home. Vegas…what was I thinking??