On Ambition and Failure...

OK, so that first bit of the novel I posted...? Yeah, like, that's all I've written... I mean, seriously, I haven't written another word. I don't even know what kind of bad news the counselor received because I only threw that in there because I read that characters need that sort of thing to keep the story going...like just writing about her experiences as a counselor would not be enough (I know...tell that to Erv Yalom...but still), she needs a dilemma...something that prods her off the course and takes her in a new direction...

The point is, I have not written another word and clearly I have failed at write a novel in a month. The general goal is to write 1667 words a day... I think the prologue I wrote is like 800 words... and it's crap. No, no... I can tell it's crap because I'm bored by it. So I've had little insensitive to continue to write boring crap; especially 1667 words a day of boring crap.

So there we are. However, I have gleaned some learning from this experience. 1) I do enjoy writing, but I'm far to literal to make shit up. I mean, I can blather on all day about my own experiences and perspectives; but to make up a whole world...a whole array of people I don't know...and make them interesting and full of activity and adventures? Ugh. And, even when I try to do this, I end up really writing about myself and people I've actually known and changing their names which is both risky and trite. 2) I have issues with commitment...at least commitment to things that bore me. Or maybe it's adult attention deficit. I can write short columns/blogs but not long crappy novels. 3) It's OK to give up. No, really, I follow through on lots of things so it's OK to admit that this challenge is one I'm going to let go. And, the truth is, I have no interest in running a marathon either... I'm more of a 5k kind of gal.

So there you have it. I admire those who do complete their novels and do see the value of doing it. Perhaps I will write a novel one day, when a story catches my fancy and I feel compelled to write it. Or not...